Infographic: Internet speeds and costs around the world http://bit.ly/3simno UK’s rank is unsurprising, but disappointing.
Trying to figure out if @LeDonk is Paddy Considine in character http://bit.ly/4yMh6E or Warp Films’ PR/social media dept doing a bad job.
RT @damianjennings Fuck. 5pm and dark. FUCK YOU WINTER. FUCK YOU IN THE FACE.
Funny: London Tube map for tourists: http://bit.ly/oKBoo [via @linkmachinego]
And now you know why you see so many one-legged pigeons: http://bit.ly/GPrmu
People who describe themselves as “funny” are generally anything but.
RT @atkinsc99 Starsuckers’ lawyers have seen off #CarterRuck & Max Clifford - film will be screened uncut. «Hooray!
Here’s a different perspective: a video history of male nudity in sci-fi: http://bit.ly/rwd3G [NSFW, but it’s the WEEKEND]
Just perused 80 posts in “straight” category on Fleshbot: only ONE was about a man. And that was in ‘cougar’ context. Sexist porn: FUCK OFF.
Craving a rare steak so badly that if a gazelle happened across my path, I might be tempted to rip its neck apart, lion-style. Yum.
RT: @TomKonkle Some of my favourite foods are vegetarians.
To (badly) paraphrase Mae West: “There are ten men outside, waiting to come in? I couldn’t eat them all - send three of them home.”
(Sorry to any vegetarians who may follow me; I occasionally get these murderous meat urges. Luckily I do not live on the African plains.)
Aviation experts may call it “cockpit distraction”, but we all know what they really mean is “blow job”: http://bit.ly/2eB4GD
Compare this http://bit.ly/15SCOe with this http://bit.ly/1RLorc. Time to eat the (British) rich, I say.
On days like today, when I’m working & it’s so miserable out, I’d be screwed without my full spectrum daylight bulb - http://bit.ly/24RPbu.
Congratulations, Technorati, on your relaunch. In 6 yrs you’ve gone from a great site to the biggest pile of unworkable shit ever. Fuckwads.
Nice to see @EdByrneComedian wearing a Devil’s Tower T-shirt from @lastexitshirts on HIGNFY tonight: I love their stuff. (He was funny too.)
My mum: “Is YouTube the thing I watch?” Me: “I don’t know.” My mum: “What’s the thing I don’t watch?” Me: “Vimeo?” My mum: “That’s it.”
Re: the jokes about geeks never having sex. As a (geek) sex diarist - who’s shagged said geeks - I can confirm that stereotype is bollocks.
I can’t speak for all geeks, obv. And the title of my next book isn’t “Girl With A One Track Mind: Shagging Britain’s Geeks, One At A Time”.
I’ve got another 10 invites to Brizzly: first ten people to @ me w/ their email addresses get ‘em. http://bit.ly/9lfWt
Is it obvious I failed at Geek School?
Let’s try this again: first 10 to click http://bit.ly/9lfWt or http://bit.ly/2x1BEY get to sign up with Brizzly. First come first served etc
Oops, last tweet should read: first 10 people to click on this link can sign up. http://bit.ly/2x1BEY
How to save the Royal Mail and make the Daily Mail lose money, in one easy step: http://bit.ly/1XPeEZ
The Sun: Twitter - a playground for paedos. http://bit.ly/2Ioc39 PLEASE bring back Brass Eye: we need it. (via @benc4)
Oh gawd. #JanMoir’s latest response: http://bit.ly/S95hy She really, really doesn’t get it, does she?
Argh. Don’t give the Daily Mail traffic. Feed this http://bit.ly/S95hy into this http://chrisgrice.com/mnm before you click it!
Watch out for the “preaching militant homosexuals”, they will turn you!!! @janmoir, another column is needed, clearly. #bbcqt
RT @edgarwright: I am not sure I enjoyed this week’s edition of Britain’s Got Racists.
RT @janmoir: I have to tell you, my nipples are SO erect right now. #bbcqt
Now waiting for a Fail Whale: with #bbcqt, #nickgriffin & #janmoir it’s only a matter of minutes, surely.
Never knew Griffin was a feminist. #bbcqt
Question Time is not the best way to show up a Nazi-sympathising MP; secret filming by infiltrators within the BNP is the answer. #bbcqt
A reminder: Rolan Adams, Orville Blair, Rohit Duggal and Stephen Lawrence were all murdered near to BNP’s HQ. 1000s of us marched = HQ shut.
Put on a suit and people will forget you used to wear “white power” t-shirts: http://bit.ly/4iYVy2 Respectability for hate: congratulations.
This will make me sound old, but I wonder if all those bleating about “freedom of speech” have knowledge of the terror caused by C18 or NF.
I Predict A Riot… will be used as the intro theme tune to at least one television broadcast this evening, I bet.
If any runners at BBC’s QT read this, do me a favour: 10 drops of Optrex into Nick Griffin’s tea should do the job nicely.
RT @janmoir: There’s something satisfyingly quaint about @BBCNewsnight still using TinyURL to share their links.
Apparently it’s just the delivery vans and sorting offices which are on strike today; I will save my not-shouting of “scab!” ‘til tomorrow.
Just received a delivery of mail; I did not shout “scab!” at the person delivering me my bills.
Determined to use “butterkin” as a future term of endearment. cf. @stephenfry
"The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is the encrusted jism in the toe of Satan’s wank sock": http://bit.ly/11Erz5
New York friends: ‘crostino’, the beautiful restaurant my good friend @mrcalltweets designed, is now open. Go! http://bit.ly/1pt1YG
Great to see @evarley as well as fellow sexbloggers and writers at tonight’s Durex celebrations, but gawd blimey my feet hurt. Ow.
On the way to Durex’s 80th birthday party. @cabbiescapital of @tweetalondoncab is trying to navigate thru dire traffic.
OK, I confess: I wish I knew someone who could get me a ticket to Robbie Williams’ Electric Proms gig tonight.
Loving Brizzly’s “mute” option (temp hushing someone’s tweets, rather than unfollowing them): something Twitter should’ve offered years ago.