I suspect that watching Knocked Up (a movie as funny as 3-day old regurgitated spunk) on my Mac t’other night has hexed it. Yes, definitely.
Geek help: my 2yr old Macbook Pro spontaneously ejected a playing DVD (Ghost Town) twice last night. Is my hard drive about to die?
Godless People! I’ve got mine, have you got yours? http://bit.ly/4C5z0 #Atheist humour FTFW.
If 3 Mobile customer services was an icecream, it’d be bullshit flavour with a cone made from a mixture of ineptness and denial.
Just saw tweets with news about Mckinnon: fuck. Fucking fuck. Unbelievable. Fuck.
http://twitpic.com/c8hom - Me: Business Face
http://twitpic.com/c5bsp - Watch out Boris?
#ThingsIHaveBumpedInto: A desk, at (fast walking) speed. Now nursing a bleeding leg, clumsy fucker that I am. Ow.
DILF wins over MILF: sexy covers make the women come. http://bit.ly/PKvFY (NSFW, ish.)
Boring epilation tweet: Ladies, suggest-me-up an *expert* N. London bikini waxer/sadist. @ or firstname.lastname@example.org with info. Ta!
To desire, or be the object of desire? Absolutely BRILLIANT piece on why some women may dislike porn: http://bit.ly/HbczU
http://twitpic.com/c17bb - If I had a baby, it’d be dressed in this…
http://twitpic.com/c17lf - …Or maybe this. Funny slogans on baby clothes, FTW.
Woken up by two rush-hour drivers arguing; heavy, persistent rain; Radio 1 blasting through my neighbour’s wall. Wow, London is BRILLIANT.
Can’t believe I’ve had to wait 28 years for this sequel; the original was one of my favourite movies, ever: http://bit.ly/5daTp
I’ve got to refund any geek cred I may have ever earned and finally say: I fucking hate Linux.
Dropping my Asus Eee last week appears to have killed its ability to: print; do screengrabs; Bluetooth; install software updates. Fuck.
I remember tweeting last year about this v low-budget film: I’m DELIGHTED it’s now got a theatrical release http://bit.ly/Kcz9v Go UK film!
These guys’re trying to raise a million quid for an indie filmmakers’ fund: http://bit.ly/lvlus I suggest gratuitous nudity, @blagamillion.
OMFG, just seen this: ‘My Shags As A Whore’ http://bit.ly/F4qBo - @RealDMitchell & @RealRobertWebb at their hilarious best.
Am pretty excited about District 9… http://www.district9movie.com http://www.mnuspreadslies.com (via @stevesparshott)
Feeling incredibly nostalgic, and inspired. Hurry up bus, I need to get home to write.
'Blooded' was a fucking excellent film - and the first feature by my mate Ed Boase. If you hear of an upcoming screening, GO SEE IT.
Still not recovered from last night’s film (if you could call it that); now off to a preview of ‘Blooded’. I HATE AM screenings.
At the cinema waiting for the screening of MEGA SHARK VS GIANT OCTOPUS (starring Debbie Gibson) to begin. Mildly excited.
My Medical Advice: don’t wear a push-up bra if you’ve got big tits and are going to be examined by two male shoulder surgeons.
It’s an honour to know that I might inspire other people to fuck: I hope they have fun. http://bit.ly/ukSzE (via @unloveablesteve)
I’m almost convinced that Windows Firewall has developed AI - and it consists of Pure Evil.
Who’s got a new(ish) Macbook or MacbookPro they want to sell me? Must be VGC and London(ish)-based. email@example.com Thanks!
Feeling nostalgic after recognising half the crew’s names in Quantum of Solace’s credits; I don’t miss my arse being grabbed on set, though.
Hey boy, relax! It’s organic! http://bit.ly/KULyP
Best not put all your faith in Tamiflu… http://bit.ly/3DEc38
Excellent piece by @libby_brooks today: http://bit.ly/ZNck5
Full of WIN: The Cat In The Computer http://bit.ly/XqTyF
In a cab on the way to Sky News (on air approx 7.10pm) with looks-like-I’ve-been-dragged-through-a-hedge frizzy hair. Ugh.
I also have bright purple nail polish on my toenails; it’s the small details that are important.
Delighted to discover my boyfriend has titanium screws in his leg: finally I’ve met the part-cyborg lover I’ve been seeking.
PRs: if we’ve never met, got drunk together, or shagged, signing off your emails with xx or :0) won’t persuade me to plug your products, OK?
Yes, I know I’ve tweeted something similar before; with the amount of emoticon-filled, PR-whoring emails I get, it bears repeating.
I’m sure everyone drops their laptops when going through Customs & Excise, right? It’s the knowledge that you look GUILTY, NO MATTER WHAT.
I’m pleased that my dropping my Asus Eee from a height of 4 feet onto a concrete floor didn’t result in it breaking, just my embarrassment.
http://twitpic.com/b4huj - If everyone did this the world’d be a better place.
Will Self was my babysitter (when he was 17 years old and I was 7). #lameclaimtofame
Stansted airport: like being welcomed back to Britain by someone shoving their hairy arse in your face.
Fuck mosquitos, I´ve eaten enough garlic to ward off an entire continent of fictional vampiric blood-sucking creatures.
Sitting outside a bar, eating calamari and fried anchovies. Besides the mosquitos, life is good.
Mosquito attractant that I am, I think one of the bastard fuckers got into my knickers last night and bit me on the bum.
Thankful for air-con.
Oh, and just in case I sound too happy, a quick message to the cab hire firm Addison Lee: you´re a bunch of fucking cunts.